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Christopher Marks

Area Man not looking for a career right now, just job with benefits

2 min read

SAN FRANCISCO— Terminating his 5 year career as a management consultant at Deloitte last week, 28 year old Marcus Smith is reportedly not looking for a career right now, just a job with benefits. “It was a tough decision to leave. I really saw a future together with that career” Smith told reporters, “But for the time being, I’m really just looking for a job with benefits, at least until I figure things out.”

Deciding that he needed some time to himself to rethink his life plan, Smith is feeling optimistic. “I’ve had some great jobs in the past which make me think I’ll eventually find a fulfilling career” Smith said, “But there were some issues we just couldn’t resolve. I guess that’s life, right?”

Having moved away from all of his friends and family to pursue his career, Smith admits that he is slightly worried he won’t find a fulfilling career anytime soon. “I mean, sure, I’ll miss the stability” Smith said, “We were together for almost 5 years.”

Smith was recently offered a job at a start up, but is concerned they may be expecting him to commit to a long term position without any benefits. “I’m really not looking for a long term position right now, and there’s just some underlying needs that this job offer can’t satisfy” Smith said, “Those needs being healthcare, stock options, and 401K matching.”

At the bar where Smith and his ex boss first met, Smith witnessed his ex boss talking to a young potential hire wearing a perfectly tailored, pinstripe suit. “I can’t believe this. I only left last week” Smith said, putting down his drink, “I’ll be right back.” At press time, Smith was seen begging for his career back, getting rejected, and punching the new potential hire square in the jaw.