Got on a busy tube and accidentally stepped on a guy's duffel bag. Apologised immediately. He says "what?" I say, "Sorry for stepping on your bag." He goes "that's okay."
"There's a valentine's present for my girlfriend in there."
I start feeling really bad.
He then pulls out a pink dildo in its packaging.
"Do you think she'll like it?"
"It cost me £50"
I laugh. He then pulls out two cans of beer from his duffel bag, cracks them both open, and says "Come on, drink with me"